Getting Back to Me

December 10, 2010 § Leave a comment

The past two years have been filled with transitions and changes. Although they were positive (i.e. Don getting his commission, me going to grad school, getting married, moving away from FL etc.), no matter what the circumstances, change can be difficult & can leave you feeling uprooted & unsure of yourself.

But the great thing about change is that it gives you a chance to evaluate your life. I’ve recently spent some time contemplating what I truly want out of life (running is the perfect time to meditate on these things). Although I want to finish my Masters degree, I’m not quite sure that I’m passionate about Political Science any more. It’s really important to me that I start a career soon, but before I jump into anything I want to revisit some of the characteristics that made me who I am.

I like to think of myself as a creative person – in high school I was even awarded the senior superlative “Most Artistic” (yes, I am still bragging about that nearly 8 years later). Somewhere in the midst of deciding what to major in at college, I seemed to abandon a lot of my creative outlets.

I like to think back to when I was young and less critical – and try to remember what it was that I really admired and aspired to be. I can think back to a few key memories that seem to stand out in my mind as key inspirational or dissuading moments .

1) The Crazy Pants: When I was in the fourth or fifth grade, I embellished a pair of old jeans that had been sentenced to the Goodwill bin. I’m sure we all remember the puff paint craze of the 90’s – well let me tell you, I went to town with these snazzy jeans. I used colored puff paint to adhere various chachki’s (checkers, scrabble pieces, rhinestones etc.) to these crazy pants. When I finished them I was so proud of my fashion masterpiece that I had to wear them as soon as they were dry. Coincidentally we’d ended up going to the mall that day & a salesgirl at Express Tricot (as it was called back then) told me she loved my jeans. And let me just say – when you are in the fourth grade and a salesgirl complements you – it makes an impression.

Since that day, I’ve always been enamored with fashion, but I abandoned that passion after discovering that fashion school costs an arm and a leg & leads to no “reliable” job prospects.

2) Skeletons in the Classroom: In community college I was pursuing Fine Arts aspirations and was required to take a few figure drawing classes. College figure drawing class = nude models = too soon = me being disgusted with a professor who was interacting with a nude model (who he posed with a skeleton & expected us to draw for a grade) in a way creepy way. Which basically turned me off to Fine Arts for good. Bummer.

3) My Ol’ Pals  Hobbes and Locke: After a semester of accepting my disillusionment with Fine Arts, I tried my hand at Political Science. Much to my surprise, I was excited, passionate & adept at understanding Poli-Sci. So with an unfamiliar and intriguing new obsession, I delved into the world of politics – Graduate Degree and all (Oh & I did meet Don in a Political Geography class 😉 ). The love between Don & I certainly endured, but the my passion for political science has fizzled. Don’t get me wrong, I am passionate about many social and political causes – but I honestly feel like grad school put out my fire. Which leads me to the most recent relevation.

4) An Athlete in “Thunder Thighs” Clothing: Mmm-k. I’ll be honest. Since I am blogging about fitness I think it’s necessary to disclose my not so healthy past. I had some weigh ups (weight 160+) and some weigh downs (weight 115-).  I’m somewhere in the middle of that at the moment & I’m pretty much ok with that (I’d have thunder thighs if I weighed 90lbs & I’ve accepted that too). Anyhow, I never ever thought of myself as an athlete until I lived in middle of nowhere Texas without a job. When you are unemployed and bored out of your mind, you may resort to various crazy ideas such as running for 2 hours at a time until you are utterly exhausted – all just to feel accomplished for the day. Lucky for me, this experience led me to the realization that I can be whatever the heck I want to be – thunder thighs or not. Which eventually led to distance training and running my first half-marathon in under 2 hours (looks like those thighs are good for something!). Currently I’m training to run the Hawaii North Shore Marathon in May, 2011.

So what do all these crazy, random experiences have to say for themselves? Well – they’ve made me: Creative, Critical, Inquisitive & Determined. And to me, that really doesn’t sound so bad. I’m not quite sure if it’s resume worthy, but I do know that reflecting on these memorable life experiences helps me to be more discerning when planning out the next few steps along the way.

So with that said, we’ve finally got our household goods moved into the Waikiki home. So exited. It was rainy today but there was still a pretty view.

And here’s a look at the pool

and the most important room of the house…the kitchen (small but still swanky).

Umm, I live there?! Never in a million years would I have guessed it, but I am so thankful and ready to meet some new friends!


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